The story from a current dater:
So I went on a date the other day with a guy who I met online, we’d been chatting for a few days and on the date the conversation was amazing, it all flowed so easily! I was even telling him about how I was going to have to go for surgery soon and he was so lovely saying how he could help if I needed it at all.
Anyway, the date was drinks on a Saturday night, and I found that getting caught up in such a good date meant that it got kind of boozy.
One thing lead to another and we ended up going back to mine and we did sleep together.
After that the messaging kind of changed, it went from a constant back and forward to not really getting anything from him.
I actually ended up messaging him at one point and saying something along the lines of ‘ok I’ll bring my sassy side back out then shall I as my nice side doesn’t seem to be getting much from you’ – ultimately he basically said that he didn’t want to be dating right now and didn’t want any pressure.
I’m not sure what I was doing that made him feel like I was throwing pressure at him, but anyway it doesn’t matter. That’s that I guess!
Feedback from your dating expert:
From my experience, people who meet online seem to have a slight difficulty finding the difference between a real connection and an online one.
It’s easy to feel a connection with someone you’re having back and forward chat with before meeting them face to face, because you can create an image of them to be exactly how you’re hoping for them to be and this vanishes when you meet in real life.
Of course, I would never recommend the one too many drinks situation happening on a first date. However, that doesn’t mean that a long-term relationship can’t be formed this way either, but it’s important to accept that the likelihood is low.
We always want to try and leave someone wanting more at the end of a date, this is why it’s a good idea not to even stay for hours and hours even if the two of you are having an amazing time, you need to try and bring it to an end so that excitement is still there and you’re both keen to see each other again! People really need to be more open to what they would really like the outcome of the date to be, I think it’s easy to forget that we have control over it and the outcome.
A man will always change what he wants for the right person, if someone tells you they don’t want to date right now, ultimately if they felt like you were ‘the one’ this idea would change.
You had fun on this date and it’s important to have this as your takeaway, but also this man has only made a very small impact on your life.
It might sound harsh, but we have the ability to form someone else’s opinion of us, so if you want to come across as someone who’s looking for something serious, its important to take some time to think about what qualities and actions someone like this embodies and then embrace this while on your dates.